


Untitled

by Liliansquill



Category: Victoria (TV)
Genre: F/M, POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 20:02:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9673964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliansquill/pseuds/Liliansquill
Summary: A few days before the wedding of V&A.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was mostly written to do something about the general lack of Vicbert fics.  
> Sorry in advance for all possible grammar mistakes.  
> Also, sorry for this piece being all over the place - from just describing V's thoughts and actions to writing down her inner monologue.

It’s probably past midnight already – a few hours must have passed from when she went to bed but she still lay there restlessly, sleepless, frequently turning from one side to the other. She wishes she could sleep - not for the sake of sleep itself but for the sake of time passing more quickly. Because tomorrow, tomorrow finally her dearest Albert will return from Coburg. 

It seems she’s been waiting for the day forever. She’s been crossing days off her calendar and they have never seemed longer. She’s been passing her time trying to distract herself with work, riding, chatting with her ladies, playing German folk songs on the piano and singing them in the best German she can manage, imagining how much better Albert would be playing and singing them, that sole fact making her miss him even more. 

At nights she would write letters to him about her daily impressions and news but she can never manage to stay on those topics for long - confessions about thinking about him, missing him and ardently waiting for his return usually take over sooner rather than later. 

She sends a letter to Albert about once a week making sure not to post it too soon after receiving one from him. She always writes her reply the same day after reading Albert’s letter again and again but worries that Albert might take her too frequent letters for neediness and it would make him think less of her, or even worse, make him lose his affections towards her. That’s why most of the letters she has written are still locked up in the little red velvet covered box she keeps hidden away in her bedroom, and only a few of those that she’s written have actually been sent. 

The same red box hides all of Albert’s letters as well. Some of them she knows by heart already for having read them so often with a quickening heart and blushes rising to her cheeks. She imagines him writing his letters to her in Coburg sitting at his desk by the window in his room with a view to the forest, his childhood playground, just as he once described it to her himself. 

His letters are always so tidy, no ink stains or added remarks on the page margins. Just words flowing from him to her in the most beautiful handwriting, almost calligraphic, it seems. How does he manage that, she sometimes wonders, but then finds it logical- it’s Albert, her logical diligent dear Albert. Doing it beautifully is the only way he can manage to do it at all. 

Tired of tossing and turning she sits up and looks towards the window. The moon is so bright tonight that it seems to light up the whole sky. She gazes at it for a while until her head, heavy with sleep, sinks down to her chest. She lays down and falls asleep almost immediately now. 

*

The morning doesn’t bring her mind to more ease. She takes a bath and eats breakfast. Or at least sits at the breakfast table for a while without being able to take a single bite, just some tea. And after that it’s still only 9 o’clock. Still at least 3 hours to wait. 

She meets lord M at 9.30 to discuss some questions that usually would be of great importance to her but today her heart’s not in it. It’s not very difficult for lord M to see it as she keeps glancing at the clock, and her eyes, dreamy and soft, constantly peek towards the window, outside, where she can see the wide road leading to the palace. 

At midday it’s finally time to go to the throne room and get ready to welcome the party from Coburg. Lord M, lord Chamberlain and her mother accompany her as they do more of that waiting that by now seems excruciating to her. She tries to look calm but on the inside she’s on fire - Albert must be so close to her by now but he’s still not with her. Oh, how she yearns to see those clear blue eyes again and, most of all, their beloved owner. 

At first when she hears them approaching the throne room she doesn’t dare to look at the door but in the end can’t control herself and does it anyway. Uncle Leopold walks in, behind him comes the duke of Coburg, Albert’s father, then there’s Ernest but where’s Albert? Is he not with them? What’s happened? Questions arise in her mind like fever. But then in a second she sees him walk in, her Albert, just a few steps behind the other three men. A wave of relief washes over her and it takes every ounce of self-control she has not to jump up from the throne and run to him. How solemn and handsome he looks. She would wish nothing more than to let his arms wrap them around her and to bury her head on his chest just to forget everything else for that one precious moment of seeing him again. 

Suddenly uncle Leopold stands in front of her and she has no more time to look at Albert. She holds out her hand for uncle Leopold to kiss it. Then the same to her other uncle, the duke. Then once again her eyes wander to Albert. She catches his eyes and apologizes to him in her mind: “How I wish we wouldn’t have to meet like that after all that time. How I wish it could be just me and you, my dearest.” It might be wishful thinking on her part but knowing Albert as little or as much as she does, she hopes he is thinking the same thing and understands that the situation is as uncomfortable to her as it must be to him. 

She forces her eyes to look at Ernest who is now standing in front of her, a little bit theatrical as always, bowing to her and kissing her hand with a sly smile as if being able to read her thoughts: “It’s good to have you here Ernest, but right now I’m only interested in the person standing behind you.”

Finally it’s Albert’s turn to step up to her. She can feel everyone’s prying eyes on them. What are they expecting to see? Sparks flying and cannons going off? If they were allowed to give way to their feelings there would be something to see maybe, but right now all the extra eyes are just making her feel shy and nervous. 

Albert’s hand is cool against hers when he takes it for a kiss. His eyes drill into hers but she doesn’t allow herself to drown too deep in them, only asks him if he finds her much changed- just a silly little question to relieve the tension and awkwardness. He gets the joke and answers accordingly, a flicker in his beautiful eyes. It’s torture - being so close to him but still not close enough, eyes beaming, hands touching but not being able to do anything to calm the yearning inside her. She’s so tempted to stretch her arms out and pull him towards her for that kiss she’s been dreaming about ever since he left. 

*

It must be past midnight already – again she cannot sleep. What started as an exciting day in expectance to finally have Albert back with her is now ending in hurt and disappointment. Albert had barely made it back when already they were bickering. And about what? Something as frivolous as money and position. Of course she would’ve liked for him to have everything he wished for but wasn’t she enough? Couldn’t just her be all he wishes for? Maybe it is true what they’re all saying, maybe Albert will be just like his dad and uncle Leopold, maybe he’s just marrying him to be the queen of England’s husband and find love somewhere else? 

She feels tears forming in her eyes even thinking about such a possibility. It hurts her to think Albert might not really have feelings for him, that she might not find a response to her own feelings. She tries to stop herself from thinking for it can’t possibly be true, it couldn’t be after all his kisses felt so real, so heated, full of craving for more. And all those letters he sent her that she was rereading just yesterday- they were all so sincere…at least that’s what they seemed like to her. Was it all just a game to him? To take her heart but guard his? To have her give him everything she can just to use it for something else? Someone else?

No. Surely, it must be the late hour that makes her think like that. Young and naïve in the matters of love as she may be, it simply cannot be that she’s got Albert’s intentions so wrong. It is one thing that it makes her heart burst in pain to even think about it but another that Albert just couldn’t be the kind of monster that such untruthfulness would make him. 

So she will simply have to get over it. If she can’t trust him enough she will just have to ask him what this fuss about money and titles is all about. Or would that be an even bigger mistake than suffering alone in silence? Who knows what Albert would make of her questions…

In the end she decides that she would talk the matter through with Lord M. He’s been married, surely he’d know how men think in these kind of situations, he must have some advice for her. He owes her that much. After all, he was one of those people who talked to her about men keeping mistresses as if it were the most ordinary thing, as if it were as usual as keeping a pet dog. 

Finally she feels her eyelids growing heavy. She just hates having to end the day without talking to Albert, making amends with him, and decides that once they’re married they must never go to bed angry. But for now she’ll just have to hope for a better tomorrow.

*

She feels her heart pounding as if wanting to burst out from her chest when she walks down the stairs of the balcony in the direction of the little pond at the back of the garden where she has seen Albert be from the window. 

Hurt gives way to anger as her feet seem to start running by themselves without her giving them the command. She has decided it will not do for her to keep suffering like that, it will simply not do. She’s going to go and ask him bluntly, she won’t be veiled with doubts on her wedding day if there’s anything she can do to help it. 

Albert doesn’t seem to notice her approaching, or is it just him not wanting to see her? He keeps fencing by himself as if that were the most important thing in the world now, on the day before his wedding. 

When he brings up the epee in his hand to place it between them for her not to come closer, it seems to cut into her heart. When he calls her “your majesty” it’s as if he’s twisting the epee in her heart. 

Having swallowed the tears that threatened to start falling she bursts out her question wanting to know the answer but at the same time thinking that she can’t bear to hear it.  
Albert looks stunned for a moment. And then he looks disappointed, hurt even. But to her great relief it doesn’t take him a second to assure her exactly what she has been dying to hear. She is the only woman he wants, she! 

His explanation about why he really wants the allowance doesn’t let her stay into her happy place for too long. Oh, how does he not understand that the most important thing is simply for the two of them to love each other. If they do, everything else will fall into place in time. She’s more than happy to provide him with everything that he might need.  
When Albert is still not happy with the situation, she has no other chance than to tell him about the main reason Albert isn’t getting the allowance - uncle Leopold. He smirks slightly when he hears about his uncle's actresses. Victoria doesn’t get how he can find it funny when it is the most serious thing in the world. Love. The true feeling between a man and a woman that must never be betrayed. Love has nothing to do with titles or position, lovers are always just two ordinary people.

She suddenly feels the need to assure to Albert that she will indeed be his wife in the most ordinary sense of the word, not as queen Victoria but as Victoria, a woman. She speaks her mind and finds that Albert did need the assurance, he had to know that he won’t be treated as a subject but as a husband. 

She feels so relieved and happy when Albert’s face softens and his lips form a loving smile directed at her. Finally he closes the gap between them and tells her how he sees it – she will be his wife. 

She sees him bend down to level his lips with hers. She can feel his warm breath on her face and then he kisses her. All the days and nights she spent missing him or doubting him fly away, they never happened. He’s here now with her, his warm hand creeping on her waist to pull her closer. She can’t wish for anything else than to always be close to him, her husband. It feels like they’re married already.


End file.
